Cynical Celluloid

Monkey 0107: The Beginnings of Wisdom

Review: A water monster is holding a town to ransom, demanding the souls of the young boys in exchange for meagre resources the people need to live. Out of sons and resorting to handing over the last remaining child the town is out of options and the gang have to …

CC: The Return of the Living Dead

Review. The Return of the Living Dead, a film that started out as a sequel to Night of the Living Dead but became its own thing. Part dark comedy and all horror, this crazy, over the top film is a great example of Dan O’Bannons handling of a simple story …

FP: The Castle of Fu Manchu

Fu Manchu is back for one last outing. Threatening to freeze the worlds oceans (using opium?!) we find Neyland Smith back on the oriental ones trail. As Fu Manchu kidnaps scientist and doctors to help finalise his evil plans he uses and betrays people at will to consolidate his position …

Monkey 0106: Even Monsters Can Be People

Monkey is being framed. When the group are attacked by demons, only Monkey sees them for what they are. The misunderstanding that Monkey just killed two old folks and a child leads Tripitaka to banish him from the pilgrimage but as the Demons, Red, Yellow and Blue begin to fight …

CC: Caligula

One of the most strange films to star cinematic heavyweights comes under scrutiny here. The reign of the most notorious Roman emperors is sexed up to the max and a lurid off screen story eclipses the barmy on screen one. https://cynicalcelluloid.com <p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/288781038″>CC: Caligula</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/user22400453″>Glenn Criddle</a> on …

FP: The Bloody Judge

Christopher Lee stars as the historical Judge Jeffreys, a man on a legal mission to rid the country of rebels to the Crown. Part historical, part exploitation, let’s look at Franco’s answer to The Witchfinder General. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/index/cat/4/

FP: Two Female Spies with Flowered Panties (Red Lips Series Part 2)

Faced with a chance to ditch their prison sentence, two strippers take on an undercover job for the government to take down a sex trafficking operation. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/index/cat/4/

CC: Savage Vengeance

A bit of a revisit to a lost episode. Savage Vengeance (erroneously spelt Vengance in the title card) is a sorta, kinda sequel to the notorious I Spit on your Grave that exists because Camille Keaton was attached to another project by the same director and thought this extra film …

Monkey Ep 0104: Monkey Swallows The Universe

There’s cannibals in them thar hills… The gang run into some very bad people, Pigsy is cock teased into a trap and Monkey has to pull out some extraordinary tricks to save the day. Just another day in the journey to the west. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: …

CC: Porno Holocaust

Joe D’Amato brings us one of the strangest cross genre pieces of adult entertainment with this less than subtly titled riff on Cannibal Holocaust and Zombie Flesh Eaters. Often derided and certainly pre-judged, let’s take a look at this little slice of madness from the guy that brought us Anthropophagus …

FP: Love Camp

The women are back in prison in this unusually low key take on the genre. A group of women are kidnapped to work for the revolutionary forces as sex slaves but when one of the prisoners takes the eye of the commander of the camp things are looking like they’re …

CC Commentary Track: Aliens

James Cameron picks up Ridley Scotts mantle in this sequel that pits muscle and machine guns against the xenomorph. Lets look at the good, the bad and the ugly in the second instalment of H.R.Gigers universe of perverse looking aliens. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: …

CC: Equinox

An ultra-low budget feature film that is surprisingly inventive and showy. Equinox, considered by some to be an influence for Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead, is one of those films that shows just what you can do with very little money, a camera and some very talented and resourceful people around …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IXaL0ajf3Y

The gang are finally brought together in this episode and fight off their first enemy as a team. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

CC: Flesh Eater (Zombie Nosh)

Bill Hinzman basically reprises his role in Night of the Living Dead for this low budget zombie film of his making. Does it live up to the legendary film that made his name? Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/index/cat/4/

FP: Dracula’s Daughter

What happens when your Giallo is twisted into a Hammer film? Franco’s Dracula’s Daughter happens, that’s what. It’s a stylish mess of a movie that isn’t one thing or the other, but is it enjoyable at least? Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

CC Commentary Track: Alien

Ridley Scott’s classic horror film spawned a number of sequels and copycats. This exercise in suspense and visceral horror was a game changer to say the least, featuring the iconic style of H.R Giger’s bizarre alien imagery and one of the big screens most iconic heroines. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk …

Monkey 0102: Monkey Turns Nursemaid

Our heroes continue to come together as we get to know the heart of the group, Tripitaka… Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

CC: Torso

A group of beautiful young students find themselves the target of a killer with a grudge. After their friends are murdered they decide o head for the hill and hide in a villa but the killer isn’t likely to be deterred by a car drive to keep his secret. Patreon …

TNR Commentary Track: Night of the Bloody Apes

Bloody Apes! Coming over here and taking our women! Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

FP: Sexy Sisters

Hyper sexually charged MIlly is being manipulated by her half sister so she can take her inheritance. Jess Franco handles this subject with his well known tact and sensitivity… Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/index/cat/4/

TNR Commentary Track: Love Camp 7

We’re back into nazisploitation land with the first of the genre. Obviously this is a controversial title and some may find this subject matter uncomfortable. If you’re likely to be offended by what I have to say about this kind of material then please feel free to skip it… You …

Monkey 0101: Monkey Goes Wild About Heaven Review

The Stone Monkey is causing a racket on earth, bothering the gods who find out he’s not only capable of thought but has studied Buddhism and magic. Trying to find out if they can make him an ally they take him up to heaven to see if they can appease …

Monkey Series Review Introduction

A stone monkey, two rejects from heaven and a boy monk set off to India to return some Sutra’s that will restore peace and harmony to China. A strange and action filled journey begins and our heroes will be faced with many a challenge, not least the test of their …

CC: Phantom of Death

Ruggero Deodato’s lesser known title comes front and centre for review. A pianist discovers he’s dying from progeria, an ageing disease that will eventually kill him. Driving him to madness he goes on a killing spree, taunting the police until he discovers one of his lovers is pregnant with his …

FP: Demoniac

A de-frocked preist goes off on his own little inquisition against a group of performers who play a little on the dark side of sex. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/index/cat/4/

CC: Blood

Thanks to Newt for this little slice of madness… My second Andy Milligan film… Lets see if this low budget monster movie/ real estate drama is any better than Blood Rites. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

TNR Commentary: Nightmare in a Damaged Brain

A major one in the list. Poor George is plagued by horrific nightmares and is subjected to an experimental treatment that when he’s released immediately fails. Going on a sex-triggered murder spree he makes his way towards a family that he has some drive to attack. When the young boy …

TNR Commentary Track: Devil Hunter

Another of Jess Franco’s video nasties finds a mysterious monster staking a kidnapped actress as Al Cliver looks nonplussed by it all. One of the most expensive orginal pre-cert VHS cassettes contained this daft and bizarre example of Tio Jess’s work. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written …

TNR Commentary Track: The Beast in Heat

Wanna hear me struggle through an epically bad film? This notorious nasty get an accompaniment of my pain and suffering… Enjoy! Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

TNR Commentary Track: Blood Rites (The Ghastly Ones)

Not gonna lie, this was hard work…. join me, feel my pain as we head into Andy Milligan’s costume drama/horror. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: https://www.thegrindhousechannel.com/… http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

TNR Commentary Track: Bay of Blood

Mario Bava brings us the template for an awful lot of slasher films. Time to watch it along with my waffle. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

TNR Commentary Track: The Last House on the Left

Wes Cravens first and most infamous film is the subject of this Commentary track. Join me as we explore the world of violence and revenge. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

CC: Last House On Dead End Street

For a film that was mistaken for snuff, Last House on Dead End Street is quite an artistically minded film. Join me as I explore the low-fi cult classic that has been savaged as badly as the victims in it. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: …

CC: Black Christmas

Christmas time murder in this early slasher effort from Canada. Lets take a good look at this classic and a little bit at the remake. Patreon http://patreon.com/user?u=2335731 Paypal: cynicalcelluloid@hotmail.co.uk Website: https://cynicalcelluloid.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynicalCelluoid Written Articles: http://franklygreenbay.com/category/i…

FP: Eugenie

Back in De Sade territory with this disturbing ‘coming of age’ tale. Eugenie is taken to an island where it’s two occupants plan to induct her into the ways of De Sade’s writings. As their plans unfold and The Order arrive Eugenie begins to become aware of what’s going on, …

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